humanimality exercise
last night i couldn’t sleep because i was thinking about the chinese zodiac. it’s such a strange astrological system because it is divided up by year (starting at chinese new year) and that seems like a terribly general method of classification. the western zodiac, however, makes complete sense to me because the symbols are more familiar (virgin, scorpion, fish, etc.) and are so specific that i have had success categorizing all my friends according to those labels (liz, for example, is such an aries). but i have not yet attempted this using the chinese calander.
so by drawing upon my knowledge of animals from children’s books, movies, and personal experience, i wrote down this list to help me better judge everyone in my life. this is what i found:
- rats fuck you over
- oxen pull loads
- tigers bite but are heroic
- rabbits run away and hide (me)
- dragons breathe fire and have crazy eyes (at least in chinese culture)
- snakes chill then strike suddenly while you are sleeping
- horses stampede
- sheep are comfy
- monkeys hang out
- roosters crow at invalid hours
- dogs need to pee all the time and are only friends with men
- pigs will eat anything
“such an aries”?
i.e. you got serious friend game. that’s all i know about aries.
p.s. liz, something’s wrong with your comments. they won’t let me comment. so instead i reduntly have relogged my own log. CAN’T YOU TELL I’M AN EFFICIENCY EXPERT NOW. AND CAN YOU ALSO TELL I’M GOIN CRAZY AGAIN (via capslock). EDIT: just kidding my internet is just slow.
